Wayne Dyer – Be that which you want.

Wayne Dyer

Wayne Dyer,  when asked about relationships, said:

Whatever it is that I want from a relationship, I would say, “Be that.”  If what you are looking for in a relationship with another person is an exquisite sense of love, then be that.

I have often said, “You do not attract into your life what you want. You attract what you are.” If you are coming from a complete state of loving everything and everyone you encounter, you will find people showing up in your life who will want to relate to you in a closer way.

In dating and in romantic relationships, get your ego out of the way, stop thinking about what is in it for you, stop thinking about how much is coming your way or what is missing from you, and simply say, “How can I make this person’s life as glorious as can be?” This means constantly being in a state of kindness and doing kind things. When you have a choice, always pick kind. Do deliberate loving, kind things continuously. Everybody loves to feel loved that way.

[About first dates] Don’t talk about yourself. Be as inquisitive about the other person as you possibly can. Be as thoughtful and kind as you know how to be. Give them a gift. Catch them doing things right, rather than doing things wrong. It is great parenting advice and it is also great dating advice. Look at the person and see no flaws. See them as perfect, divine creations and treat them that way. The same way you would treat a beautiful tree, or an animal or a sunset. Appreciate them for what they are and ask nothing in return.

[On whether to “stay or go”] I would just say, “Trust your heart.” Staying or going is not relevant, but your heart will tell you exactly what to do. Listen to your heart. Listen to the most inner peaceful voice in you. Whether it says, “This is a place I want to get away from, or someone I want to stay closer to,” you will never be disappointed.

[On how people can value themselves more]

All you have is yourself. That is all you have in this whole universe. When your eyes are closed and when you die, the whole universe disappears. All you have is how you process this world. That inner part of you that is processing this world that is your highest self. That is the part of you that you have to treasure. You have to go through life reminding yourself how incredibly valuable and important and terrific you are. Then you will never have a question about relationships again. There will be so many people wanting to be in your life.

– From an Interview with E Harmony